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Coming to terms with loss
by Kristina Leighton, Wake Weekly Staff Writer
Julia McQueen was just 39 when doctors found a lump in her right breast, but at the time, she didn't think anything of it.
"The doctor said, 'Well, let's do a sonogram just in case, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about,'" McQueen said. "And I didn't worry -- I didn't think anything like that could happen to me. All the women I'd known with breast cancer were much older -- not 39 with two young children at home." The doctors conducted tests, and reassured Julia it was "just in case" -- until the day they found out it was indeed cancer. "I couldn't believe it was happening to me," she said. "It just didn't make any sense." McQueen led a busy life at the time she was diagnosed. She worked full-time, carted her kids to soccer practice, helped them with their homework and cooked dinner every evening. She led a happy but busy life -- full of demands that didn't go away with a cancer diagnosis. She was determined to overcome her illness and get back to the life she knew and loved -- and with the help of chemotherapy and her doctors' care, she did. For nine years, she was cancer-free. She believed the disease was gone from her life for good. But during a routine mammogram two years ago, doctors found a lump in the other breast. Again, it was cancer. This time, the prognosis didn't look so good. The doctors urged her to consider a double mastectomy -- the removal of both breasts. She struggled with the decision. Even knowing it would save her life and reduce her chances of getting cancer a third time by more than 90 percent, she was faced losing part of her body, part of her womanhood. McQueen recoiled. "You just wonder, 'Can I do this? Can I really go through with it?'" The need to make a decision plagued her until one night, discussing the issue over dinner with her family, her 20-year-old son spoke up. "'Come on, Mom,' he said. 'It's a no-brainer.'" Julia laughed. "I just looked at him and said, 'Oh, really?'" If she went through with the surgery, he reasoned to his mother, she'd never have to worry about getting breast cancer again. "I realized that he really meant he would never have to worry about it again," she said. "Until that moment, I hadn't realized just how much the whole experience affected my family as well. They were worried, they were scared, too." In the end, Julia said, it wasn't a tough decision after all. "I realized I needed to just do it and put that part of my life behind me so I wouldn't worry every day, with every lump -- is that cancer? "I wanted to live," she said. "I wanted to do everything I could to improve my chances of living a long, happy life." This June will conclude two years since the surgery. Julia doesn't regret a thing. She is in the process of having reconstructive surgery but is otherwise perfectly healthy -- and happy. And, she said, her experience has brought about several positive changes in her life. A health educator by trade, she worked with the Poe Center for Health Research to help implement a new student-education program at Rolesville Elementary School during her second bout with cancer. The center partnered with Duke Health Raleigh Hospital, which provided financial backing for the enterprise, and McQueen met several people from the hospital during her experience. About six months ago, Duke Health came to her with a job offer. The hospital was creating a new position: a cancer patient navigator. The new employee would help guide patients throughout their experience, from diagnosis to treatment and beyond. They would answer questions, connect patients with the resources they needed and sometimes provide a needed ear to listen. The job, Julia said, sounded perfect. "I'd been searching for some way to combine my experiences with cancer with my educational background," she said. "This was it." When she tells her patients she is a cancer survivor, she is often met with a look of surprise. "They say 'You don't look like you have cancer,'" she said. "I think they mean I look healthy, I look happy. "I think it gives them hope," she said. "It helps them to know you can get through treatment and start living normal lives again." Through her new job, Julia found out about yet another way she can help give back to those who helped her in her time of need -- Relay for Life. The 24-hour event raises money for cancer research through the American Cancer Society. But just as important, Julia said, it raises awareness. "So many people say to me, 'I never thought about it that much until I found out I had it,'" she said. "We need to get the whole community involved in this. We need everyone to be a part of finding a cure for cancer." As a cancer survivor and one who works with patients on a daily basis, she has one other message for her friends, neighbors and community members: Catch it early. "Until we find a cure, your best chance is to find it early," she said. "Check with your doctor about any irregularities. Go in for regular screenings. "Let's beat this thing."
Last Updated On: April 28, 2005
Copyright 2005 The Wake Weekly